I wasn’t initiated into the throes of motherhood for too long before I discovered two important things:
- When a child is screaming bloody murder, he needs attention.
- When a child is not screaming, crying, yelling, or even breathing noises, he needs attention.
Erma Bombeck, one of the best writers on life and parenting I’ve ever read, said that boys are easier than girls to raise because they tell you what they are doing. Since I now have a decade of experience in raising tiny males, I can say this is almost true.
Yes, my boys will tell me what they are doing. Mostly, I’ve noticed, that telling is when the story involves what video or computer game they love, what potty joke was in Captain Underpants, and how many times one of them farted yesterday.
In case you wondered, he reached 27 before he stopped counting.
I am just like mothers of any children, however, in that I also discover wrappers, holes, stinky clothing items, marker smiley faces, and objects not put away -that no one is responsible for. I remember that “Family Circus” comics denoted this with a ghostlike kid named “Not Me.” Other issues had a “Nobody” and an “Ida Know.” All of those, plus related cousins, visit our house at least once a day.
So; yes, my boys will tell me which of them put the boogers on the booger wall. They’ll tell me who smashed the box so well it made an AWESOME! dent. In fact, they will also tell me who left items out whenever it is not them.
But whenever they are home and I haven’t heard a peep for five full minutes, I know it’s time to for all systems to be on alert.
If you haven’t experienced the joys of active children yet, this is my parenting advice for today:
When it’s too quiet, investigate.
Your house, cat, spouse, neighbor, and evening plans will all thank you.