The Magic Clothes Washing Machine

People have long joked that their washing machines lose socks. No matter how fastidious they are about tracking those little buggers, a black hole opens up somewhere along the laundry path and orphans many a sad pair. I can relate, of course, yet I can also compete.

My washing machine not only eats socks; it also eats underwear and sports uniforms AND uses the digested materials to create plastic fish, Nerf darts, a plastic witch finger, and (I kid you not) packets of condiments.

Laundry Crap
Just some of the items the clothes washer has created.

I’m not sure why or how I came to own such a gifted machine as this, though I did notice its magical properties exhibited after we had children.

…It’s probably coincidental.

Unlike a dog delivering the paper or a cat delivering mouse organs, I haven’t much use for the presents I find in the laundry. I also tend to worry about the objects’ effects on the clean clothes. The fish and Nerf darts and witch finger are usually well-behaved, but the mayonnaise and ketchup are not exactly fabric softeners.

And, I’m concerned about using something created from a process I can’t see. What if the washer’s methods involve lint and elastic waistbands?

As helpful and generous as the washing machine is, I would rather have the powers in reverse. Instead of my son’s karate pants becoming a beanbag frog, I could deposit mustard and hot sauce in return for a red and gold soccer uniform.

I’m sure I would at least get a pair of socks.

—————

This past week’s posts:
Sunday
, March 10: “Selfish Selflessness,” a post outlining the tough midpoint we mothers find ourselves in.

Monday, March 11: Wrote a poem titled, “The @#*&% Diet.”

Tuesday, March 12: Shared a quote by Erma Bombeck.

Wednesday, March 13: Plated a second dinner tip for y’all.

Thursday, March 14: “Dietary Air,” a snippet concerning dieting.

Friday, March 15: Lamented and advised against teenagers in “Why Oh Why Must We Have The Teenage Years?

Saturday, March 16: Shared Ramblin’ Mama’s tweet about making friends for your kids.

Sunday, March 17: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! That’s today!

 

Photo Credit:
unsplash-logoNik MacMillan


6 thoughts on “The Magic Clothes Washing Machine

  1. Magical indeed! It sounds a lot like my mom’s, except she had something of a golden goose as it often spit out money. Washing machines are really remarkable and strange beings.

    Like

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