People have long joked that their washing machines lose socks. No matter how fastidious they are about tracking those little buggers, a black hole opens up somewhere along the laundry path and orphans many a sad pair. I can relate, of course, yet I can also compete.
My washing machine not only eats socks; it also eats underwear and sports uniforms AND uses the digested materials to create plastic fish, Nerf darts, a plastic witch finger, and (I kid you not) packets of condiments.
I’m not sure why or how I came to own such a gifted machine as this, though I did notice its magical properties exhibited after we had children.
…It’s probably coincidental.
Unlike a dog delivering the paper or a cat delivering mouse organs, I haven’t much use for the presents I find in the laundry. I also tend to worry about the objects’ effects on the clean clothes. The fish and Nerf darts and witch finger are usually well-behaved, but the mayonnaise and ketchup are not exactly fabric softeners.
And, I’m concerned about using something created from a process I can’t see. What if the washer’s methods involve lint and elastic waistbands?
As helpful and generous as the washing machine is, I would rather have the powers in reverse. Instead of my son’s karate pants becoming a beanbag frog, I could deposit mustard and hot sauce in return for a red and gold soccer uniform.
I’m sure I would at least get a pair of socks.
This past week’s posts:
Sunday, March 10: “Selfish Selflessness,” a post outlining the tough midpoint we mothers find ourselves in.
Monday, March 11: Wrote a poem titled, “The @#*&% Diet.”
Tuesday, March 12: Shared a quote by Erma Bombeck.
Wednesday, March 13: Plated a second dinner tip for y’all.
Thursday, March 14: “Dietary Air,” a snippet concerning dieting.
Friday, March 15: Lamented and advised against teenagers in “Why Oh Why Must We Have The Teenage Years?”
Saturday, March 16: Shared Ramblin’ Mama’s tweet about making friends for your kids.
Sunday, March 17: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! That’s today!