Why Oh Why Must We Have The Teenage Years?

Today’s advice is really short, sweet, and to the point: do not have teenagers.

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You’re still here? Ah; maybe you, like me, haven’t really got a choice. You birthed or adopted a cute little bundle of joy, lived through the terrible twos, survived the first and second set of teeth, and even passed most of the elementary years.

The problem is that, now, the child you once knew has …changed.

You tiptoe (yes, you must tiptoe) down the hall to your child’s room. You know you are getting close because of familiarity, but also because of the smell. Okay -you knew you were getting closer because you followed a Hansel and Gretel trail of dropped socks, pants, and accessories to the door.

And because of the smell.

If you are a bold enough adventurer to peek inside (without notice), a mishmash mess will meet your eyes. It’s a jungle in there: clothes, school things, sports equipment, blankets, and some of your items you’ve been looking for are draped everywhere in anti-fen shui-style. A fish eyes you from the dresser top detritus and mouths the word, “Help!”

As scary as the physical side effects of a teenager are, however; there is nothing to quite prepare you for actual encounters with one.

One, tentative question about homework may lead to a Mt. Vesuvius eruption. A term of endearment might cause a glare and door slam. Requests to pave a path through the teen’s room will result in a yelling insinuation of how little you care for their feelings and how much you just want them to diiiieeeeee!

And, I have a boy teenager. I thought I wouldn’t have drama.

So, as I recommended: avoid the teenagers. Get yourself a nice, helpful preschooler who’s just napped and who loves to get five-cent candies as a reward for mopping the floor. Give the teens to their grandparents; you know, the ones who were so keen for you to have kids for them in the first place.

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Photo Credit:
Image by Gary Cassel from Pixabay
Photo by Justin Chrn on Unsplash


15 thoughts on “Why Oh Why Must We Have The Teenage Years?

  1. Our boy and girl (much to our chagrin) turned into teens, and are having trouble navigating those rough seas. All you said resonated. Eggshells on the floor (due to untidiness and the potential for eruptions – good metaphor).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s when the boys lose the power of speech that I noticed it most. The grunting, flea picking years when sleepovers involve armpit sniffing and locust like decimataion of fridges. 13 to 16 when our’s emerged as a fully formed articulate adult who was just as bloody difficult but had the arguments to go with it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. they will emerge, trust me and they will be a delight too; think of it like the caterpillar going through the pupae stage and emerging as a gorgeous butterfly (though to be fair, cockroaches have the same life cycle)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha Ha. As my grandkids would say. “In your face Chelsea”. I am a grandparent with four teenage grandchildren and I love it. They only come to visit on Sundays and are on their best behaviour. The mess and hysterics are confined to their own house and not carried elsewhere. Our house now reigns quiet and serene with just my wife and I. You can come and visit anytime.

    Liked by 1 person

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